Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

My mom just died....

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

Steve Jobs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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