Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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