A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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h

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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cms.......?????

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Microsoft Windows

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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