Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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penis that is all

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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