how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Chuck Norris died.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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Jake Bowar

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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