Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

thumb_up thumb_down +55

"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock (No one is home)

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Adam Sandler.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

cms.......?????

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops