your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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