'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Religion

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Get in the van

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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BUTTERFARTING

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YOU IS DUM

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Wolf Pussy

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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