"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

BUTTERFARTING

YOU IS DUM

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

Wolf Pussy

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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