Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Steve Jobs.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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