Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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