There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Mmmm, donuts

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George Bush.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Patrick is gay

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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i have 2 penises

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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