How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Your mother

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Justin Bieber

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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