What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

lol

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Mitt Romney for president.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops