dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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Microsoft Windows

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Penis.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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