Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

So dont touch it

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

21

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...