A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I only like NY as a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops