Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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69

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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