The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Womens rights

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops