- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

21

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

Pavel Novak

Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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