What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

Knock Knock No one answers....

Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

guess what? chicken butt.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

An asian walks out of math class

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

women's rights.

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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