Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Women's rights.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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Brittney Spears

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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