A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Susie has Autism

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops