Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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