An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +16

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the difference between a battery and a charger

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops