Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops