Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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