A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

dog

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

Hitler was Jewish.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

96

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

My mom.

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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