Knock knock *No one was home*

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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This is not a good joke.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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