Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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GAY PEOPLE

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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