If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

women leaving the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

cory is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chayton

thumb_up thumb_down +10

MICHAEL

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops