Why was johny late to school? He died

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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World Peace

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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Du bist mein Kampf

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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