What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

Kittens.

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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