Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Can I touch it?

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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a black guy leaves prison

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Yeah, totally.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Your mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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