Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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potatoes

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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h

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops