Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Akshaytiger World

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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