- Anti Joke

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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