Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

My friends are like trampolines I have none

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

Will gropes Ebola victims

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

Lets make like trees and stand still

Your Mom

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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