what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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obama is a good president

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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You know George Washington? He died.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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