Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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