A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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Lebron Traveled

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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