"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

women

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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