How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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:-)book

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Google Doodles

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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