Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Canida

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Benevolent villain.

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Rock mattress.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Did you know, that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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