A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

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the guy below me is gay

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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BUTTERFARTING

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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"Hello." "Hi."

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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