Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Whats 0+0 0

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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Boobs are nasty!

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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GONNA

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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