How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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I'm Jewish

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Steve Jobs.

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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