Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops