Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Mmmm, donuts

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ps3

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Microsoft Windows

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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