What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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