yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Yeah, totally.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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My Girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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