Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lebron Traveled

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Bumsniffer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops