When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

Teen pregnancy

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

ROSS G IS OBESE

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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