What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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minorities.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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Kittens.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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