Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Patrick is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

no u

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops