Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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My mom just died....

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Tim's gay.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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