Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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knock knock your gay

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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A man. That is all.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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