Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Nah

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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